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Discussion Topic: Learning To Live Again...
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 GuardedOptimism |
12-03-2004 @ 8:48 AM |
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Member
Joined: Nov. 2004
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Hi. I've been feeling a lot better since I found this site. I finally know what's wrong with me and that's a relief. I'm working with my doctor and therapist. I started taking Effexor one week ago. For the first time in a while I really feel some hope.
My problem is that I can't seem to get going. I've been agoraphobic for a while now. I wake up in the morning and I feel alightly optimistic, but I'm just afraid to leave the house. I feel like neighbors and people I don't even know are judging me. I guess that's part of my problem, but I really have been feeling a lot better inside. My panic attacks have not been coming as often.
I used to work out a lot and I'd like to go to the gym, but my last huge panic attack was in the gym. It's like I need to re-learn how to live again. Does anyone know how you take that first step. I'm at a loss. I feel like I need to get started. Thanx.
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| MichaelP |
12-03-2004 @ 9:25 PM |
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Joined: Jul. 2004
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Hey.....the first step is to physically feel better before you try and accomplish too much....seems that once you start feeling better on the meds you can slowly but surely start living again....of course you can also do exposure therapy while not feeling so great but its just harder imho......i had a panic attack prior to takeoff 1 year ago....i blacked out, seizure like and vomited for hours.......since then I have flown 4 times....believe me, it wasnt easy facing a plane again.....and im still finding it hard and cant do flights longer than 3 hours yet.......im still struggling with panic everyday but hold down a corporate job, workout, go out as much as i can but many days while i am doing these things, the panic is still there.....you have to act 'as if' you are fine and eventually , hopefully you will be.....start slow and the hell with the neighbors....this is YOUR LIFE and they have no say in it.....dont care about others.....CARE about YOURSELF......seriously, do whats best for you and dont think about anyone else that has no saay in your life....good luck
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| OBrendie |
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12-05-2004 @ 6:31 PM |
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Joined: Sep. 2004
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Michael
I am curious... how long did it take for you to feel physically better ? I have only been on meds for 11 days and sometimes I feel strong so I will go out and try to do things as if I did them before and than I end up getting scared and running back into the house. Even being here sometimes does not make me feel safe anymore. I tried to go to the gym today. Stayed for 15 minutes and was a little dizzy so I came home. God on my treadmill to prove to myself that I would be okay but its just so different when you are out there in the world. I am so scared to pass out in front of everybody and really who cares but for some reason I can not shake that feeling. I guess its cause I would feel so weak. I am going to follow your advice here and just start to feel better both physically and mentally before I go out and try to concer things. I always have pushed myself to do things and I guess this is Gods way of saying... Hey quit it.
I hate being like this.... Even when I watch TV I just envy everybody cause they get to just do things and not have this feeling inside them or so I think they do. Today was a bad day for me. I just cried all day after my gym scene.
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| MichaelP |
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12-05-2004 @ 6:47 PM |
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Joined: Jul. 2004
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OBrendie....Ive had panic on and off for 15+ years....I go into remission and then relapse, etc.....I think its important to do things on a daily basis but for the harder things....ie flying, crowded mall, etc...it might be better to have the meds kick in first.....Ive done both - ie wait/not wait and have had mixed results....I do know that its 100x easier when you are feeling better but sometimes that can take so long....for me it varies from several weeks to several months to several years.....this current relapse has been going on for over 1 year and Im doing as much as I can ......working/ working out/ some socialization/ 2 short trips to florida.......im so far from remission but "acting as if"....i dont have the silver bullet answer but do what you think is best for you...sometimes forcing too hard can lead to a bad experience and not forcing at all can cause a worsening agoraphobia.....do what you can .....i know its hard to accept this....i had a bad weekend....went to the movies with friends last night and had terrible ibs which led to panic....i came home, crawled into bed and cried but still managed to go running today, etc.....you cant give up.....keep us posted. michael
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| OBrendie |
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12-05-2004 @ 8:29 PM |
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Joined: Sep. 2004
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Thank you Michael
I think I have a better understanding now. I should not stay in the house all the time. I should try and get out. Even though I only did the gym for 15 minutes it was better than nothing. I am going to do the best I can.. i just wish I could go back to work and do my job. That is my biggest fear and worry. Usually when I am all loaded on the xanax nothing seems to scare me but I hate being all loaded on xanax.....lol what a life.
Thanks again and I will keep you posted.
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| GuardedOptimism |
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12-05-2004 @ 8:39 PM |
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Joined: Nov. 2004
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Brendie, I hear you. I started this post and I'm in the same situation. I plan on going to the gym tomorrow, but I'll probably find a reason to put it off. I've been feeling better doing things like walking my dog, going shopping, etc. I just want to get my life started again. I want to attend Graduate School in February so I have to get going. I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. There's no rush. We need to relax and let things flow. I just wish I could take my own advice. 
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| OBrendie |
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12-05-2004 @ 8:46 PM |
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Joined: Sep. 2004
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G
No kidding... I want so much to go back to work by the end of the month and it is a goal of mine but I really don't see if happening and than I get all stressed out. and cry again. at least we understand what each other is going thru. You are one step a head of me... I can not take my dogs for a walk... I am so scared that I will pass out and no one will help me and than something will happen to them. I know it sounds stupid it really does but I can't help it. I actually ordered a batan a taser batan that would make me feel more safe to walk my dogs. My dogs weigh about 300 lbs to combine them and if another dog were to come running out after us I would be in trouble.. so I ordered this taser for protection. I do the wierdest things cause I think the wierdes things but what ever it takes to make me comfortable. I finally decided to just take all my meds the way the doctor says and see if they will actually work. I'm scared of meds they make me dizzy and my heart race. I am going to try and go to the computer store tomorrow and buy a microphone. We will see.. I am all freaked out just thinking about it. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE will this ever get better.
If you want you can e-mail me direct I am at
[email protected] makes it easier to talk and help each other out but if you don't I under stand as well.
Thanks for responding to me cause today was an awfull day.
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| Posted By |
Discussion Topic: Learning To Live Again...
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