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Discussion Topic: runs in the family
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 erica3 |
08-15-2003 @ 1:12 PM |
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Member
Joined: Jul. 2003
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I've had a lightbulb type week this week and I've really learnt something.
this week was tough and I was really worried about mom being ill.But we got through it! She had her investigations yesterday and relieved that she has a very treatable ulcer.
This is welcome, as she was thinking the worst possible situation of cancer and had been discussing all the options that this would involve in great detail. She already told me that she didn't want treatment. This was quite difficult for me as her panic started me off and then I was imagining the worst.
What I have realised is that our family has a tendancy towards anxiety and panic. As my sister says , we have fantastic imaginations! Although this situation it is understandable to be anxious and think about the possibilities.I'm sure that mom has always suffered from panic disorder, although she doesn't think so,but does admit that now she is older she doesn't tend to worry about small things. I thought back to when I was growing up and the reaction to everything (even very small things)was a 'OH MY GOD!'. This was how we worked and probably spent years in preparation for plan A,B,and C, cleaning and worrying about things that didn't happen.Also trying to calm everyone down.
What's good is that I for the first time I really understand and don't get angry. I'm just so grateful that this, is now recognised and don't think it was so understood 20- 30years ago.
Other good things are happening too!
I can now drive over bridges and feel so good I've faced my fear. I still have to do it everyday, just in case I can't tommorrow- but hopefully that'll go, cos it's getting a bit boring !!!
Now going to work and getting out and about, and driving on bigger roads.
Learning not to criticise myself for everything is like having freedom again and still having little panic attacks- but so what!! Not so scared of them anymore!!!
Also let go of my career that was causing so much stress, and have an interview in a couple of weeks to start a new career. Ok! already thought about the potential panic there - but so what!! In reality the worst that'll happen is I'll white knuckle it! I haven't lost anything, perhaps they find rigid people good employees(Ha!)
Things are looking up!!!
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
08-15-2003 @ 6:10 PM |
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Member
Joined: Dec. 2001
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Terrific! Congratulations. A breakthrough is a big deal. I love to read success stories. Way to go.
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| Posted By |
Discussion Topic: runs in the family
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