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Discussion Topic: Just sharing
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 bonnie |
02-06-2003 @ 4:33 PM |
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Joined: Feb. 2003
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Hi everyone,
I had a session with my counselor yesterday:) and as we were talking I realized I hadn't been doing something that was really helpful a couple of weeks ago and thought I would share it with you. It really made a difference and starting tonight I will begin again. When I first hit this panic setback, she told me to start writing again. To keep a journal so as not to get "full" of emotions which seems to get my anxiety going since I suppress alot, I found that I was writing alot of negatives. Not only who made me mad or hurt my feelings, but mostly "...didn't go to dance class tonight. Drove there but couldn't get out of car..." or "...attempted to go to grocery store, couldn't stand in line, left...I hate myself so much right now..." Anyway...after a couple of weeks of that I decided to write the GOOD stuff.  Things as simple as, "took the dog out today and not only up the street but AROUND the block...felt so good." or "went to store later with (husband) and even though I hated the line, I stayed and lived through it. Was so proud of myself after I went next door to the video place just to browse..." No matter how teeny these things seem to most and even to me when I am not in this "hole" the power I feel after doing them and writing them out was amazingly healing. I saw that I was so much focusing on what I couldn't do that I wasn't even noticing what I WAS doing.
That's all...just thought I would share since I slipped up and have to get back on track tonight in my journal. Got a few "goodies" to write down...
Hang in there guys... 
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
02-06-2003 @ 8:00 PM |
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Joined: Dec. 2001
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Hi Bonnie. Congratulations on those positive results! You seem to be moving forward and really helping yourself.
I moved your post here, because I feel it really is one way to challenge your anxious thoughts, and others may benefit from reading it here.
Keep up the good work!
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| Marianne |
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02-07-2003 @ 6:19 AM |
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Joined: Aug. 2002
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Hi Bonnie,
Yes, I agree, writing things down helps a lot. They're kind of no longer just slushing around in your brain causing havoc. Once I've written down how I feel and what I'm scared off it's no longer as threatening and much more defined.
I once had a bad attack on a train trip and started writing a letter to my therapist, telling her how terrible I feel and how scared I was. I really got into it and poured my heart out, and felt so much better afterwards! Kind of taken care off, and like I wasn't all alone.
Marianne
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| bonnie |
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02-07-2003 @ 6:07 PM |
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Joined: Feb. 2003
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Marianne,
Good for you. Quick thinking. I have grabbed a pen and journal at times when I felt like crying but didn't know why (which causes me to feel anxious) and would just write so that I COULD cry and then felt much better. I have found in my years of therapy (going back when an issue needs disecting and laying off when things are calm) that for me, my anxiety/panic kicks in when I am suppressing stuff. Could be anything, but the fact that I am sitting on it gets me there. Glad to see you are finding writing a great release also.
Bonnie
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| Diana |
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03-03-2003 @ 10:28 AM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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Hi
I too have a journal that I write in when i'm upset and can't express out loud or that there's simply noone to listen. But you're right they are all really negative thoughts. I think this is a really great idea! I'm gonna give it a shot! Thanks for sharing 
Take care
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| kingsford |
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03-04-2003 @ 3:29 AM |
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Joined: Jan. 2003
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I keep a journal as well, wish I would write the great things more often because it can be a bummer to read my past entries.
Ever heard of "The Artist Way"? It's a great workbook for finding your creative self. It actually encourages you to write everybad thought you have about yourself. The purpose is to help you get it out of your system so you can clear your mind for new thoughts. It also encourages you to write at the same time each day (preferrably morning) for at least 3 pages regardless if you have 3 pages to fill (it could be as bad as blah blah blah blah blah- as long as it's 3 pages). Granted I don't practice everything it suggested, I feel it was well worth the time in reading. Now I paint, play music, write songs, sew, and design several aspects of home interiors (my occupation/business. I know, I'm all over the board, and yes, I feel there is no end to the amount of things I need to do.
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| maria d. |
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03-06-2003 @ 3:45 AM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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hi bonnie, yes thank you for sharing that it is so important. don't you think that life is just a series of problem solving exercises? so if we approach a problem from a positive perspective doesn't that help. we are all so fragile its so important to celebrate each big and small step that we take. thanks again maria d.
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| bonnie |
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03-06-2003 @ 5:23 PM |
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Joined: Feb. 2003
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Maria and Diana,
So glad you see how much better it is to notice and focus on the positive. It is kind of like that "gratitude journaling" Oprah would talk about. As far as us and our axiety, I mean, just compare in your mind how you feel when you have just written all the ways you disappointed yourself today as opposed to all that you accomplished, even if it is just stepping outside the front door. I walk away with a smile and a sense of accomplishment. Oh, I agree there are times we do need that journal to get out some anger and stuff that shouldn't be kept inside. I just found that is all I was writing about. Now I remember to just sit down even when things are good and write about it.
Bonnie
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| Sarajo |
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03-08-2003 @ 3:46 AM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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Hello Bonnie and everyone,
Thanks for all the thoughts on writing. I like the idea of writing down the successes (shows how negative my mindset can be, because I'm having a bit of difficulty thinking what positives I could write about!) and I think it could be a real help to change my downward-spiral over-criticism of myself, which I tend to fall into at low points.
I so agree that suppressing stuff seems to build up and end up in overwhelming stress/panic etc, and in the past I've used writing to pour it all out, but I also agree that the "venting" writing makes grim reading afterwards...(could almost bring you down again just by remembering how bad you felt then!) In fact I avoid doing so; maybe we should do the venting on loose paper and tear it up once the job is done!
But the positive writing could be in a lovely book with a nice cover and using beautifully coloured pens, maybe...I'm already looking forward to trying it...and maybe I'll illustrate it too (I love drawing but it's one of the many creative hobbies I haven't found time for in recent years...): then it could be a lovely celebration of our acheivements, to keep, re-read and treasure!
Thanks all of you for getting me started thinking on this. So nice to share: all those worries kept inside make us so lonely don't they, when you think everyone else is coping fine with life..?!
More later, love, Sarajo
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| bonnie |
03-09-2003 @ 8:07 PM |
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Joined: Feb. 2003
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Sarajo,
What a great idea to make it a beautiful and colorful journal. Anything to make it positive and special. I know when you are in the deepest part of it all, it is very hard to find positives. When I first started, it was kind of hard to even think it would feel good to say two things like..."Went to post office today. No line! It was great! Also, Dropped off overdue library books finally. Didn't just THROW them in overnight hole, went in and put them in front desk!"
That would be about it with a little "feel so good about myself" here and there. It felt pretty good to write nothing but good, so I continued. It just took a couple of days to be able to find more things even if tiny, that made me feel really good to put down. Sometimes I even got tired of writing cause I was going into such exiciting detail...(smile). Within days, I was feeling so much better about myself, realizing "I am getting better. Maybe in baby steps, but they are still steps forward."
Let us know how "pretty" your "happy" journal turns out. It sounds like it will be really special.
Bonnie
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| Sarajo |
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03-13-2003 @ 6:03 AM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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Hello Bonnie & everyone,
Thanks for your reply. I must admit (lots of work this week) I haven't started my "good things" journal yet, but it's kind of ticking over in the back of my mind: as I'm busy with other stuff I find myself thinking, "oh yes, I could write about something nice one of my children said to me," etc.
So even though pen hasn't reached paper yet, the idea of the journal is helping turn my thoughts to the positive already.
And don't you find that it's a really good thing to have some kind of creative project in mind, even when you have to wait a while before you have the time/energy/money to carry it out? For example, I remember always feeling happy when I'm planning to re-arrange or re-decorate a room in my house, or do something new in the garden, or make something for the house or as a present. I suppose even just thinking about making some improvement to your home environment is a very positive thing: it makes you feel you are able to make life better and have some control over things.
Over the years I've done less of this than I wanted: somehow the depression, or whatever, drained all energy or ability to get up and "do something" from me. And then the fact that I haven't done anything makes me feel like a failure...downward spiral! But since joining this site a few days ago and having felt able to "talk" to you all, I can feel that precious energy returning and things feel possible again! I know from experience that this mood comes and goes...but maybe if the energy slides away again I'll be more able to get it back now I've all you friends to talk to even (or rather, especially) during a bad patch....
Wish me luck, everyone, I'm going to be very brave now and get out of that front door and go to the gym...first time in 3 months! Love, Sarajo.
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
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03-13-2003 @ 8:34 AM |
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Joined: Dec. 2001
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Hey that's great, Sarajo! Let us know how it goes.
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| Sarajo |
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03-13-2003 @ 4:49 PM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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Hi Anne-Marie, Bonnie & everyone,
Well, I did it! I really did go to the gym, and somehow this time I felt less self-conscious, more relaxed and more self-accepting, than I have there before. I thought of you all: thank you! I'll go again tomorrow and aim to keep it up regularly now.
Love, Sarajo.
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| bonnie |
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03-13-2003 @ 6:35 PM |
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Joined: Feb. 2003
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Sarajo,
Yes I totally agree that just "thinking" about doing something positive for yourself in the future, even if it takes time to "find" the time (I have been there too), is really a big and easy step to feeling more motivated and positive. It must have to do with what I am learning in this other program I am working on. We, people who struggle with anxiety, panic and or depression, tend to think alot of negative thoughts. I always thought I was so positive until I was made to "listen" to myself throughout the day. ****! Am I a negative thinker. Even as simple as.."wow, what a great sunny day...hope the fog doesn't roll in and ruin it later" or "That was a delicious dinner I just made...boy I would hate to know how many calories that was..." That is negative. So I am now catching myself and not adding those second sentences. I am trying to say/think more positive things. So, even your just "planning" to get to that journal, and the feeling it is giving you just thinking about it, I am sure is helping change your mood.
And the gym? Three months!? Good for you. I know EXACTLY where you are. I do a dance workout and FINALLY got back after a few months of not being able to. Just been back a few times, but a few weeks ago I thought I would never see the day again. Definitely something to write in that journal of yours. Even if you didn't make it or feel your best, the trying is just as good.
Bonnie
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| Sarajo |
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03-14-2003 @ 12:19 PM |
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Joined: Mar. 2003
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Hello Bonnie,
Thanks for your post. This is really nice, keeping in touch!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes in phases: that is, sometimes managing to keep up positive things like the gym/dancing for several weeks, then at other times finding it impossible! And just as you said, whilst you're in either phase, you can't imagine how you could be the other way...for example, I did go for the 2nd visit to the gym today, and enjoyed it, and now can't quite understand how I wasn't able to go for so long!
I totally relate to what you said about being negative without realising it, and you made me smile at your examples of the way you sometimes tag on a negative to a positive remark! In fact, someone at work said to me that she thought I needed to go on "one of those courses" (for building up self-esteem, I suppose) because I come across as putting myself down a lot...! And I thought I was just being more honest than everyone else, about finding some things at work difficult!
I must try listening to myself: I bet I do say negative things without thinking, too!
I've been told more than once (by my husband, amongst others!) that I worry too much (no surprises there!) and that I do that pointless & negative thing of "if only"s!! You know, going back over the past and getting all stressed about previous mistakes or bad decisions.....not exactly helpful or a good use of time, really! His attitude is that you can't do anything about the past (so, no point wasting energy on stressing about it!); all you can do is decide to do better/different from now on....he's so wise about that.
Sort of on the subject of the (still imaginary!) journal, and making it colourful...well, a while ago I used to reward myself, for dieting successfully, with a pretty sticker for each day (childish, but fun!). This used to work for a while, to help me get through "munchy" moments, but of course when the days came that I strayed off-course, I didn't like to see the "no sticker" gap on the chart.... Well, in keeping with my current "allow yourself to be human and don't be so hard on yourself" (or rather, "be positive about even small steps..") frame of mind, I'm now awarding myself a sticker for ANY success that day! So, today and yesterday of course I have stickers for going to the gym! (The healthy eating will have to gradually kick in...one step at a time.... I seem to have read that on this site somewhere!)
The dance workout sounds great, Bonnie: nothing like dancing to make you feel alive! Glad you're able to go at the moment.
Love, Sarajo.
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| Posted By |
Discussion Topic: Just sharing
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