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| anonymous | -- 11-19-2004 @ 7:47 AM |
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I'm not proud of this, but I had my first cigarette in about 6 months last night after having my worst day in over 3 years. I've been a health and fitness freak my entire life. I used to work as a Personal Trainer if you can believe that. When I met my wife about 4 years ago, I began smoking. She smokes, one of the few things I don't love about her, and I picked up the habit. It was very difficult to quit, but I stopped cold turkey and I even thought it would help my condition. I was mistaken. My panic attacks have gotten worse. Yesterday just broke my spirit. I thought I was starting to get better. I went on a job interview and had begun to work out again. I almost broke down at the interview and had one of my worst attacks at the gym and it continued when I got home. The cigarettes seem to calm me down. I feel so low right now. I'm pretty much crying out for help. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Climbing the slippery slope or whatever cliches come to mind. This is not the life I had in mind...
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| melisnl | -- 11-21-2004 @ 6:13 PM |
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I know exactly how you feel, my life was fine. I had a great social life, i was in college and i worked full-time. Now i am a shell of what i was. I dropped out of school, quit working and hardly see my friends anymore.I am 25 years old and i feel very hopeless and scared. I don't want to stay like this forever. Knowing i'm not alone does make it better but it doesn't take it away. I just want my old life back. I pray for all of us. Are you on any meds?? Feel free to e-mail me any time: [email protected]
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